One of the Five Good Things, clarity involves being able to more fully understand oneself, the relationship, and even the world. In contrast, a relationship that creates confusion and fogginess is not growth fostering.

In earlier descriptions of the Five Good Things, the word knowledge was used, defining it as how we come to understand ourselves, others, and how the world works. Jean Baker Miller specifically named clarity as one of the Five Good Things in her 1986 paper What Do We Mean by Relationships? Clarity was understood as increased knowledge of oneselves and others, arising through growth-fostering relationship.

Miller and Irene Stiver later described it as a better understanding of oneself, the other person, and the relationship. Judith Jordan connected this outcome explicitly to mutual empathy and relational awareness: when people bring more of themselves into connection, experience their impact on one another, and work through disconnection, more of the relationship becomes understandable.

More recent RCT formulations also attend to cultural context and power. Clarity may include recognizing how larger systems shape what happens within and between people. Nathanial Smith describes clarity as essential for challenging forces that create isolation and shame in queer clients. He notes that clarity can help increase mutuality and connection. This expands our understanding of the Five Good Things as not only emerging from but contributing to creating Growth Fostering Relationships. 

Think of a friend who has been in your life for a while. How has your relationship with them shaped your understanding of yourself? Of how relationships work? Of the world?