Comparative suffering is an easy trap to fall into—especially when we care deeply about others. In a culture shaped by capitalism and individualism, many of us have learned that pain must be...
Holding complexity and compassion
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Burnout and the Myth of Self-Reliance
Burnout, then, is not simply an individual failing or a byproduct of working too hard. It is a signal that something in our relational ecosystem needs attention.
Love Needs Fighters
How To Keep Going On Monday evenings I'm lucky enough to get and talk with one of my best friends about whatever comes up. We record it, and sometimes it turns out to be something worth sharing with...
Supported Vulnerability
Supported Vulnerability is a foundational concept in RCT. It refers to the conditions that allow emotional risks within a relationship, trusting the other person to respond with empathy and acceptance.
2022-2023 Cadre on Caring
The Relational Cadre is a diverse group of humans who are invited to explore aspects of a central theme through the lens of Relational Cultural Theory (RCT). Using an unconference format,...
Mutual Meltdowns
We are tired. We need healing. It’s likely we’ve lost people, dreams, cherished ways of being, and not been held in our grief because we were all too busy surviving. Slow down. It’s impossible to rush wellness. Lean into each other. Allow ourselves to mourn together, to mutually hold each other. Trust that allowing mutuality leads to healing. We are in collective pain, and the antidote is messy, authentic, mutuality.
2021-2022 Relational Cadre
We have a few openings for individuals or organizations to join our first ever Relational Cadre! If you join as an organization, you can select representatives to participate and share their...
Bridging Middle School to High School
This group includes expressive arts, (supplies provided by the BCC) relational skills, and specific stress management skills. Participants will leave with ideas on how to push back against peer pressure, managing difficult behaviors such as procrastination, getting better sleep, and identifying thought distortions.
Feeling Love From a Distance
One of the tools we’ve been trying to use, is Amy Banks’ idea of Positive Relational Moments. In her book, Wired To Connect, Banks defines PRMs as moments you felt “safe and happy in another person’s presence.” Returning to your PRMs can slow or even reverse a downward spiral of stress and isolation by activating healthy neural pathways. It’s not always easy to pull up a PRM on demand though, sometimes we could use a reminder– a picture, an email, a journal entry, or, now, an Appreciation Effect campaign.
Contagion
It is difficult, if not impossible, to sustain a contagious calm without filling your own cup. Even as we isolate, we need each other.
Fighting Despair with Connection:
Without connection, it’s easy for our fear to grow as exponentially as the Covid-19 infection rates.
Five Good Things
A Growth Fostering Relationship is marked by the Five Good Things. Coined by Jean Baker Miller in her transformational book, Toward a New Psychology of Women. These are the qualities of a relationship that creates fulfillment and counters inauthenticity and inequity. They include: